Well, well, well....Chesa and I both had a wonderful evening. We drove up to Missouri to see our men and while Chesa got a tear jerking speech from his parents I got dinner and laid....blah blah blah.... I feel like a list. So, here are 20 more things you might not know about us and people we know.

1. My brother was just diagnosed with MS
2. Chesa has never participated in a 69 ( I just found this out and am still shocked)
3. I have made out underneath the bleachers during a pep rally (how cliche)
4. My Mother thinks I'm having a torrid affair with someone at work and is really excited about it. (I'm not having an affain, btw)
5. What we both really want to do is work at Barnes and Nobles during the day, and be bartenders at night while being fabulously rich
6. I find it comical when Chesa fights with her Mother, the dramatics are better than the movies
7. I have a new mantra and it is 'I am Fabulous, and don't you forget it' I say it to my husband often, and make him repeat it
8. Chesa wishes she could save the world. If she were in a beauty pageant and they asked her the life goal question, she would say 'World Peace' with a straight face, and mean it.
9. My husband thinks of Chesa as his best friend, sister, and other wife (without wifely benefits)
10. I hate horses
11. Chesa loves horses even though one broke her hip
12. High heels are Chesa's new passion even though she is 6' tall without them
13. At this moment I am wearing bright pink high heels that have rhinestones on them!
14. We are going skinny dipping this weekend
15. Chesa went to a christian college and had to talk about her ministry. That boggles my mind.
16. I work with a guy that always has puss coming off of his scalp because he spikes his thin hair so the sun burns his scalp daily. It is seriously disgusting.
17. I always score high on those 'are you bad' email tests and I really don't think I'm that bad!
18. I think I should be involved in some sort of sexual education because I don't think people are comfortable enough with their sexuality.
19. Chesa always has headphones around her neck, like a doctor with his stethascope
20. Blogging has turned us into better people.

All I can say is that this secret blog has saved me from killing someone today. Well, not really, but it was close. My partner at work is being an ass this week, and I do mean an ass. I don't feel like going into the details, only because it's the kinda mad that spreads tingle from my chest, to my arms, and eventually, takes the form of smart ass from my mouth. That's not real nice of me, and in order to keep from telling him to "Fuck off", oh, wait, I did that already, well, in order to preserve some form of my good southern conscience, I'm trying to not say anything. And wouldn't you know, I leave my smokes on the kitchen cabinet today...damn my forgetfulnes at 4:00 in the morning! breathe...ok, I'm better now

I hope everybody had a great weekend! I can't believe it is already Tuesday! Had an OK weekend. Chesa and I worked most of the weekend, so it wasn't the best ever. To make up for it we got all gussied up last night and took ourselves out for a few drinks. It was fabulous, there was red lipstick, free drinks, and men saying 'Wow' as we walked away from them! There was also some great conversation, which is exactly what I needed. I needed to talk about the past for one night, get some of it off of my chest, admit a few mistakes out loud. You understand.

By the way, do NOT under any circumstances read the book 'High Maintenance'. I understand that it says 'Hilarious' on the cover, but it is NOT even remotely funny or even good. The book is depressing, sad and morose. It will bring you down. Do NOT read it. Just a tip!

Well, I have to post on Friday, just because my fingers will be itching to blog by Monday. Oh, and I have to tell my latest idea. It's actually got alot to do with Julia. We've been on a jazz music kick these days, for about a week. I pulled out the Billie Holiday cd's, Ella Fitzgerald, Diana Krall, and my latest vocalist to fall in love with, Nina Simone * see below*(thanks to Julia). I sang Jazz back in college, to take a break form Opera, and I loved it. I can hear "Cry Me a River" and I'm suddenly back on a black stage, beside a piano, in a black dress....mmmm. So I had a premonition last night. I live in Fayetteville, a town that can be a pretty cool when it comes to the social scene. Why the hell am I not singing now? There are college kids all over this town that are probably wanting to play some music, places to play, and one sassy girl to wail....more on the plan to come.
Busy weekend, no day off till about the second week of August. You should get you a roomie like Julia, one that helps so much!!! I'd be lost without her in this busy time .

this is what we call a voice "like burbon with honey" I tried to make it a link, but it was being contrary. It's the old fashion paste-y heehee, pasties

download the "sugar in my bowl"

http://music.lycos.com/artist/default.asp?QW=nina%20simone

So much to blog about....

Hormones. I think it must be around that time, because so far today I have eaten a chocolate chunk granola bar, two pieces of cold pizza and chocolate brownie fudge ice cream. I have also gotten mad at my boss before 8:15 am for fucking up my schedule for the entire week, including saturday night...that I have to work...and no, not that kind of work...actual, real work.

Porn. I'm elated at the response received regarding the search for GREAT literary porn. I will be picking up 'My Secret Garden' post haste. To you, I recommend Aqua Erotica (by the way the actual book is waterproof which is fab in itself) in liew (sp?) of penthouse letters. Also, Jezabel you KNOW that I already have multiple battery operated boyfriends and am looking for a good chain start for those really lonely nights.

Porn store/good sex. I LOVE taking Chesa to the porn store. To see her horrified face makes me laugh with glee. I also like to see her stare at a contraption trying to figure out what it does and the shocked face when she figures it out. Then, she calls me over to make sure that I understand that this thing is actually for sale. Is mucho fabulous! Don't take this wrong, I'm no expert porn store person. I still cannot look another consumer in the eye while I'm shopping for personal porn. I try to be proud of the fact that I have this right and there is no reason to be embarrassed about it, but I was raised strict catholic, I feel guilty just thinking about sex. I did not find any good literary porn in the shop, which was disappointing. So, instead of sitting around whining about it I decided I'm going to start writing erotica. I realize that it looks like I have no writing skills when you read this blog, but that is because I just pour my thoughts out as fast as possible before they escape. I make no effort to correct grammer or spelling here. And I make no apology for that. As soon as I can afford to buy a laptop I will start posting erotic stories (Sorry, kids but I just can't in good conscience to that at work). I have hundreds in my head and I might as well share them with the world and try to make an extra buck. More on this as developments occur.

More porn. Oh, and if you think of some great literary porn in the mean time, please don't hesitate to keep recommending!!!

Book review/endorsement. If you haven't already read 'Sweet Potato Queens - Book of Love' by Jill Conner Browne, DO IT! or 'God Save the Sweet Potato Queens' the next one, DO IT! These books are serioulsy the most hilarious I have ever read in my life. The writer is so up front and no holes barred it is fantastic and inspirational. In case you are still on the brink of buying these, here is the clincher. The books do include the words....'blow jobs'. You need to buy for that fact alone, women and men. The funniest about either one of these is I was reading GSTSPQ last night and one of her theories coincided with a theory expressed this week by none other than the yeti. If you read the book and the yeti and figure out which theory I'm speaking of, I will send you a gift. I don't know what that will be yet, but I guarandamntee it will be great!

what happened to just good sex

More from Julia on the festivities of last night, however, here's a question.....Are women only interested in last love, the hero rescue, and happy endings, or is there a decent source for decent female porn, oxymoron as that may be? There's the really trashy love novels, that aren't even close to enertaining, or, again, "in revenge for her father's death, she found herself in the arms of the handsome rouge...." make me puke. So what happened to just good sex? Well, it's not in the romance isle of any book store, and though we looked, we didn't really see it wrapped in a pink package on the shelf between the fuzzy handcuffs and and the blow up dolls...the search continues

Chick Porn
Enough about wedding rings!!! What about PORN?!?! I have a dilemma. I am horny. As most of you know I only see my husband about 2-3 days a week, that leaves 4-5 days of long, lonely nights on my own!!! I've been getting by on cheap, trashy romance novels where the penis is called 'his sex' or 'his manhood'. I have to speed read to the actual sex parts just to get by, that takes time I don't have! I need gratification over here!!!! I have also exhausted my penthouse letters books and I get tired of reading the 'then I fucked her till she was blind’. I do like a little romance and tease!!! I do have a few books that are exactly what I’m looking for, but by now I can recite the stories backwards and forwards! (An example of those, in case you are wondering is called ‘Aqua Erotica’) So, I’m looking for recommendations of good porn! Please, let me know if you have read anything decent lately that is NOT penthouse letters, male orientated and NOT a romance novel that is too much BS and not enough s-e-x!!!

There's no question that I'm a girl. and a girlie girl at that. Fresh flowers in my house at all times? yes tons of girlie underwear? yes cases of makeup? definetly But I also was raised with 3 brothers, and on a ranch, so there are things about me that aren't all that girlie. I change my own oil, I can replace my spark plugs, and puton new shocks. I can hunt, and love to fish. I know which kind of cows have smaller calves so as not to hurt first year moma cows. I know this stuff. I know in what percentage you mix liquid iron to maximize your corn crop, and not burn it. I can drink whiskey like VERY few I know, men or women included in that. I can work as hard as a man, physically, sometimes I have. I say all this to show the 2 completely different sides to Chesa. Here's why I bring it up. A few days ago julia asked what kind of wedding ring I would SOMEDAY like to have. I was stumped. I had never really thought about it. I knew that engagement rings existed, but I didn't know the difference in that and a wedding ring. What about promise rings, and wedding sets, and diamond cuts. I know nothing of these things. I was never that little girl to plan her wedding at the age of 10, and decide what colors, how many in the party....all that junk. So it's been crash course for the clueless girl today. No, there's no reason why I'm looking at rings. I'm just trying to be a better informed individual.
here's to Friday, and a great weekend

Is it only Wednesday? My partner and I worked late last night, so 4 am came early today. UUUUGGGGGGG I've been drinking coffee like a crazy girl. I just really want a nap, so hopeful before the day is out. My cowboy man is hurt, tore up his arm working on the plow. I want to be there with him, but I'll have to wait a few hours at least. The stress from work has been getting to me lately, which doesn't happen. I need to focus, pay attention, and keep it fun. I'm dying to be out on the water, either swimming, or boating, but again, it's a busy time. I've been meaning to get out, go skinny dippin this week, we're meeting at the old mill Bridge, if y'all want to come too!!
I'm just rambling now, have a good day

Julia and I have a wall that now covered with brown paper. It's our newest creative outlet. We have a box of pens, and markers, and crayons near by to provided color to our thoughts. When we have company, we invite them to contribute as well. We have quotes, funny pictures, drawings, things like that, but alas there is no name for our wall. Any thoughts on what to call it?

here's a thought for Julia.....where do nudist carry their cards? WOW, so many new things to learn! Lists make me think. So much in fact, that as Julia and I made Sunda morning breakfast at the "country home" aka her home in Missouri, I was saying that I'd like to remain in my pj's, drink coffee and blog all day. Instead, after lunch we popped in the "Sex and the City" DVD's and drank wine. What a fab day! To change the subject completely, I'm about to break CHESA standards. I don't include much about sex on here. I'm not really sure why. Whatever the reason, it changes today.
My cowboy man that we speak of, aka PH, is a great man (I'm not being the girl that brags about her man, that can't shut up about how wonderful he is, I'm really making a point) There's something about falling in love, and I mean really falling in love. It has to be one of the most wonderful things in the world. With PH, it's no exception, it's fucking fantastic. It's respect, it's lust, it's laughs, it's being annoyed, and worried, and it's a constant emtional rollercoaster that I've bought season passes for. I joke about it taking my 8 months to get a piece of ass from this one, as we moved, and still move slow. It was definetly worth the wait. I've never had such good sex. I've never truely enjoyed a man's body and all it's capable of, until now. Let me interject some sexual history as well, another Chesa NO-NO. When I met Julia, I wasn't getting any. NONE I wasn't even all that crazy about it. The first experience ended in a black eye, a bloody nose, and years of keeping secrets. The second big realationship had the sexual equivalent of a night light. Not a great track record, so I figured, what the hell? This is not only huge progress for me, but appreantly him as well. In the love bliss, in the pink shade that sometimes follows, I find out yesterday that I was his very first, on the eventful night 6 months ago. Yeah. and this man KNOWS things....how in the hell? Ph was the only living 26 year old virgin in the state, and I found him.......Once this knowledge had time to sink in, my brain started working....Do you know what this kind of information does to a girl's insecurities? OH MY GOD, did we scare the living shit out of him. He jumped right in with me and Julia, and has kept up pretty well, once he started talking. Gasp NO WONDER HE DIDN'T SPEAK, we scared the vocab right out of him!!! Does this bother me? NOOOO. Does it up the standards in the bedroom? for me, yes but does it sound like one hell of time? indeed So, maybe it's not about experience, though I thought it was. Maybe, as cheesy as it sounds, it IS about love. If it weren't so great, I think I'd puke at that statement. Here's to finding the best things in life.

I realize that some days we may get a little sappy/bitchy/boring around here. So, I'm going to spice it up today. When Chesa reads all I have revealed about her, she will probably kill me, but oh well. So, a list of things you might not know about us and people we know. (I do realize I have stolen this idea from fantastic bloggers - gotta give credit where due)
1. I once was a card carrying member of this organization.
2. I have made out, in public, with a girl, and so has Chesa.
3. I have an alias that is still recognizable in some sectors.
4. Chesa has about four aliases and Very few people know her real name.
5. I have kissed another man since I've been married.
6. A woman has propositioned my husband to have a one night stand with him, and he said no.
7. My husband had a stalker before I met him.
8. My parents disowned me for about 4 months and I didn't not speak to them at all.
9. Chesa can sing opera, and ROCKS at it.
10.Chesa has won a best ass contest at a bar.
11.Everytime we see an international truck/jeep thingy we look at each other and giggle because of good times had in one.
12.Men seem to hit on us and buy us drinks the most when we think we look like complete dog shit. I think its Gods ego booster program.
13.I took Chesa into her first porn shop and she still blushes if I mention it. And yes, she did make a purchase.
14.I think she is going to marry the cowboy she is dating right now, and secretly she does too. (I think)
15.My husband has been married twice before marrying me.
16.We both had nude photos taken of ourselves, very classy. Locations included; a 120 year old mansion and a very old barn in the country.
17.Chesa knows how to turkey hunt, no seriously.
18.I'm an excellent fisherperson.
19.I was engaged to someone else before I married my husband and broke it off after finding him with another woman.
20.The first time I visited the town that I currently reside in part time, Chesa and I were approached and asked about a time when we visisted a bar TWO HOURS away, once. I guess we were memorable because we had flashed the entire place.

well, unlike Julia, I'm not a sleep whore. I function on a few hours of sleep a night. I suppose it is of choice, or lack of disipline. Either way, by Friday, I just want to be left alone, well, by annoying people anyway. Speaking of annoying people, my pa'tner here at work is on my nerve this morning. Lack of sleep? possibly, but I rested pretty well last night. Just alot to deal with this week at work, and the fact that after such a week last week, we got one day off, when really, a few days would have been good. I feel a burn-out moment looming ever nearer. To make it better, I'm taking my crew to the school bus races this Saturday night, as much as my boss would like me to work. GIVE A GIRL A BREAK. Then Sunday, it's laying out at the creek, the cooler, a good book, SPF, yes, goodness for the soul. Deep breath, and it's going to be a good day.

Do you ever wake up in a new world? Saying Thank You for what I have, thank you for keeping me and mine safe, for raining last night so my allergies aren't killing me? That is what I did this morning. Chesa and I took a well deserved road trip last night. We drank beer, we smoked, we talked, we went and saw her family. We both had rough days yesterday, nothing that we couldn't overcome, but rough none the less. We didn't roll into bed until about 1am, which is really hard for me because I am a serious sleep whore - I will perform sexual acts to gain more sleep if necessary. So when my alarm started going off at 6:30 this morning I made the command decision of staying in bed until 7:45 and going into work late. I called the office at 8am and asked the receptionist to sign me out until 11 because I had a meeting at 8:30 am at a remote location (actually the meeting was for 9:30). So, I got sit in peace and drink my coffee, take my time in the shower, ironed something to wear instead of running around trying to get everything done in a time period most people couldn't put socks on in. It was definitly worth it.

Thank you Chesa for being there for me last night, even when you were trying to muddle through your own crap. We also came to the realization, if you are having a bad day, go out and do the things you hate that you HAVE to do and make it the worst day so the rest of the week can be great. And sometimes with good friends the rest of the week can start that night.

What a weekend!

It had its ups, it definitly had its downs, but it wasn't too shabby. Saw some good fireworks, great cowboys and got to hear Chesa and my husband play music for some great people. On the other hand I had to clean up doggie runny doo doo from my carpet for a few hours on Saturday and came home to something that resembled where I live, but looked like a tornado struck it. It wasn't pretty. Lets just say my husband isn't much of a domestic god. The house was not messy, I can hadle messy. Messy is when there are some things that aren't put away, perhaps a towel on the floor, a dish or two in the sink, papers on the kitchen table. The house was FILTHY. The floors were disgusting and when you walked with bare feet on the linoleum, there were places you would get stuck to the floor. There were ants infesting my laundry room and the pet food. There were piles of dirty dishes with food stuck to them and new things growing, there was a dog fur rug in the bedroom that I think was an inch thick. I was so furious I couldn't even speak. Then my lovely husband decided to sit me down and proceeded to tell me how it was all my fault. Because I'm not home enough to do all of the cleaning. It would be an understatement to say that he was not in my good graces. If he would have erupted into a flaming ball I cannot say for sure that I would have peed on him to put the fire out. Thankfully by Sunday we had worked things out well enough so that I could speak to him again.
Sorry, I don't have time to list all of the good points of the weekend. I had to get that out of my system!

We have made it through. I wondered whether or not we would. I would have to type for days to recap all the events and happenings that occured this week. Have you ever been in the situation where you had to keep yourself awake for an insane amount of time? We all have. Whether it's penance for partying too long the night before, or traveling, or finals, all those things you have to force yourself to stay awake for...then you know what it's like to get out of the habit of KEEPING yourself awake. After this week of non stop work, I realized why I couldn't sleep, although I was so tired. It's because I had gotten into the habit of keeping myself awake, even for as many as 20 hours a day. I feel like I'm finally winding down. I'm still pretty tired, and plan on napping today as well, but I had a lovely weekend. Worked saturday as well, so by about 1:00 when I got off work, I headed North, to Missouri, where Julia and I spend most of our weekends. Both of our men live there, so there's a little insentive....heehee. My wonderful cowboy man took me to see fireworks, (which is wonderful, because july 4th is my fav holiday) then a late night fishing trip, and sleeping bags in the back of the truck. YAY. Just what I needed. After a Sunday afternoon nap with my man as well, a FaB dinner at Julia's last night, and ice cream sundaes...I'm almost back to the old Chesa today. I missed bloggin though, I gotta get caught up on what all is going on, so give me a few days.
Thanks Julia for your compliments on work. you know how very important it is to me

YEEEEEEEEEE HAWWWWWWWWW!!!!
I Love rodeo week. I'm rodeo weeks new biggest fan. Yes, I'm married and yes, I adore my husband but some of those cowboys......Oh, just to look at the lovely tight asses............ahhhh. Now that makes a girl weak in the knees, well a girl and it would probably also work on Joetoo! Happy Belated Birthday! I so wish that I could ship one of these fine cowboys to him for a present.

I am so proud of Chesa right now. She has been working her ass off, we are talking 20 hour days and she hasn't even gotten crabby once! That is damn impressive when she is so completly deprived of sleep! She handles herself so well to her adoring public. She is under a lot of pressure from many different sources and right now she is handling like a pro! YAY Chesa! Wish I could do more to help you out!

Ok, I better get some actual work done today. I'm hoping boss man will tell me to cut out early today, but I'm not holding my breath.

Just keeping my head above water on the whole rodeo time here in Arkansas. It's Muchas busy, and I'm surviving with style, and a great tube of lipstick. Among wrestling a spooked horse in traffic, 90 degrees for the parade, and an 18 hour day, I changed clothes in the station van, threw on some PLUM BRULEE (that'd be the lipstick) in the side mirror on the van, and still looked kick ass. So far our station is a big hit, even with our competition on the other side of the park. I was even nice to them, well, I didn't speak, but that was nicest thing I could think to say. Better than "you can suck my *#&$%, you loser" which did cross my mind. First pull the rug out from under them, then kick them...
3 more days like this. A luncheon with the Dodge Rodeo sponsors today, more rodeo action, and more yummy cowboys, yes I LOVE MY JOB.