well, it's definitely fall. There was some question with the warm weather, cool weather, warm weather again. Thus is the Midwest. So I dream of twinkly white lights, snow and thick socks, but have been reduced to jeans and a t-shirt today. With cool weather, it's time to break out the chili and beef stew...mmmm. I'm afraid there isn't much excitement these days. Just muddling through it all, and making plans for the holidays. I can't believe that Thanksgiving is so close. Then the race begins for Christmas shopping YIKES! Actually, I've gotten a start on mine, to avoid the sometimes hazardous mall scene. Hunting season opens this Saturday, and I'm taking the whole weekend to relieve some stress that's been building over the last few months. If all else fails, just shoot something! I can say that, cause I'm a redneck kinda girl. I wouldn't suggest that plan of action for just anyone, but personally, it works.

I’m back. I got back almost two weeks ago. I learned so much. I’ve been putting off writing about it because I haven’t been sure of quite what to say. I ran away from home. I got pushed out the door by my husband who was sure I was never coming back. I wasn’t sure if I was coming back. I saw my family and I learned lessons. I’m a much better person for all of it. I’m happy and content. I’m exactly where I want to be. I’ve never been this way, the closest was about seven years ago, but even then I was unsure of myself and my decisions. This time I couldn’t be more positive. When I came down here this time, I knew what I was getting into and I was doing it on my own free will. I wasn’t coming because somebody else wanted me and I wasn’t coming to piss people off. I came because I wanted too. The trip home was almost like the trip up, on both journeys I had a feeling of relief because I was headed home.
I’ll tell you all a secret. I had a job interview there. They offered it to me. I turned them down. I didn’t tell anyone that. I didn’t want my husband to feel like I was sacraficing to come down here again, I didn’t want my family to know and put any pressure on me. I didn’t even tell my best friend (sorry Chesa, now you know!)
I learned so much about myself while I was gone, I would have never thought one person could have so many revelations in just a week. My Mom and my sister really saved me. I learned quite a bit of dirty family secrets from my Mom and Granny and my sister was there with her wise questions and undying support. I will never know how to thank them.
The most important thing they showed me is they don’t give a fuck what I do in my career, they only care if I’m happy. I realized I can quit trying to live up to my childhood dreams because its OK that those dreams have changed. Their expectations have changed. For the past fifteen years I’ve been trying to prove myself to those that loved me and believed in me and in the mean time I did something that had nothing to do with the original plan. They told me that stuff I had done in the mean time was more important than anything else and they were so proud of me for that they were bursting. I had never stopped to see that before.
I also stopped to see a few people that I could have easily become in the past and I was ever so grateful that I had made some past decisions. Whew!
Oh, and I also had a marriage proposal while I was there, did I forget to mention that? I turned that down too...

Thanks y'all, for the BLOG LOVE! It's been a week, well, no, almost 2 now, and I am finally getting used to Pache not being there, not waking me up, not playing with the cows. It was so good to have her, and to get to love her. I've spent some time at the Animal Shelter, loving on the puppies, so they'll be ready for a home soon. That's always fun. Cooler weather on the way, and Julia has thrown the first of the fall parties. It was a wonderful birthday party for her step daughter. She gracefully put up with nit picky inlaws, and did it looking WONDERFUL. The meal was great, the house looked great, and like I said, she wore a smile the whole time I saw her. I know it was tough. I wasn't feeling well, so I didn't get to stay too long, but what I did see was impressive.
Both me and J have spent the last few weeks ironing out wrinkles in our lives, just getting things back in order. I think we're getting there. It could be the fact that we all went out on Halloween and had a great time!!! We possibly could have some pictures in the near future. All I'm saying is that people are calling me at work this morning, wanting to know who those WILD GIRLS were (GASP!! Reference to the Wild Girls again!!) hee hee