Wednesday morning, and I'm forcing myself to be cheery. Not that I'm not naturally cheery, it just seems like there's so many avenues going in my life. Only trouble is, I'm fucking bored with all of them. That's a tough place for me. I hate to be bored, especially with myself. My solution? a pro and con list...kinda like a "top 5 of all time" from High Fidelity

CONS why I feel boring
1. Fall seems boring to me. It's the time when you put away the flip flops and tanning lotions, when cold toes become a constant companion, and the lush green of summer is flagged with colors that tell that winter will be here in no time.
2. I haven't much a life these days. I stay busy with work, and when I'm not working, I just want to sleep, to recover from the damn 3:00am wakings; to read, to sleep, that's about all I'm motivated to do...again, damn the weather.
3. I feel the dread of the holiday coming on. I get it from my mother. She hates the holidays, and she's wearing off on me today.
4. I haven't volunteered in weeks
5. AND THE KICKER.....my job is not a happy place right now. There's bad morale in our building, and while it's been that way for a while, I'm beginning to sound like the very poison that I hate around here. My partner and I are so beat down from working in a place where we know things are wrong, but we drive ourselves crazy trying to fix them. So instead, we put on our happy faces, and try to be team motivators, which wears us out as well. Our question now is whether or not to just stick it out, turn our heads and only deal with what we can control, or will we regret that? I've been arguing with myself for weeks.


ok, now PRO list.....why I'm not boring

1. Because I do argue with myself, and constantly examine my life to determine whether or not I'm in the right place. I think the courage to change it, or fix it is something good.
2. I have wonderful friends, an adorable niece, a Cowboy man that I'm in love with, a Jeep that I adore (I know I'm shallow) and upcoming chances to sing, make good music.
3. My job is not everything to me, it's just one part of my whole life.
4. MY partner is drugged up on Allergy medicine, and he's easy to mess with today
5. I'm not boring, I'm scheduled....ooo I hate that