sparkly things
I love fireflies. I always have, and maybe never lost the hope that they are magic, sent to make us remember the great things about summer. It's like white christmas lights. No matter where I see them, they seem so whimsical, at christmas time or not. I'm listening to Joni Mitchell's album, the Both Sides Now album. Highly recommend you add it to your collections. It's not the cheeriest of cds, but it is fantastic to listen to. There are many things on my mind these days, most about boxes and packing tape, palm trees and moving vans, but even more. I drove over to see my grandparents this weekend, and you can ask Julia..they are the most wonderful people. They have been so excited for us on this move. They have helped pack, they have encouraged when I was worried I wasn't doing the right thing, they have cried when we talked about how much I will miss them, and have promised to visit as soon as we've learned our way around town. These are the people that raised me, and I was so overwhelmed with thankfulness that they are a part of my life. Not everyone has grandparents. I realize how damn lucky I am.
Oh, and then my mother walked in the room, and didn't speak to me, just the same as she's done for about a year and a half. I can't wait to send her the tacky shell soap from Key West, especially since I haven't told her I'm going.
In my joy, and excitement, someone I love very much is hurting right now. My Cowboy Man is losing something very important to him. The something that he always chooses over me, the thing that prevented us from ever planning for the future, or getting to spend Sunday afternoons cat napping on the couch. It will be the hardest thing he's ever gone through, and I feel like the worse person in the world for leaving him in his time of need. When I was lost, and hurting, he stood by me, let me cry, and was strong for me. I'm trying to do the same for him. I thought I was pretty stretched for nerves, but when he needed me, I found that loving him gave me strength for him.
It's all a little sappy, and vague, but I'm thankful for the sparkly things, for the little moments that take my breath away. Be it Christmas lights, or fireflies, or knowing that our lives are changing dramatically in little over 2 weeks. ( Can you believe it here already?), there's a certain calm in my life tonight that is unexpected, considering all the things to do, and the little time to do them. I wish a little calm on Julia, as the pressure of things weighs heavy on her right now. A reason to drink more? I'd say so!
It's off to bed early tonight, so I'm off like a prom dress.......
kisses on your face!