a rest for the weary...
actually, just rest for the restless. Still no internet at work, and my laptop is swarmed with spy ware, so that's going well for me right now. Minus the whole I'd-rather-throw-all-computers-out-the-window syndrome I'm currently in, I realize that as of right now, it's less than 30 days till we're in Key West. Does that sink in for you? Cause it's still a little surreal for myself. The excitement of it all is my companion right now. It's that feeling when you wake up in the morning, and know you're excited, though it take a minute to remember what it is. Especially when you're like me, and your coffee pot is already packed in a box...it takes a few minutes. It's the way I make it through my crappy days at work, and all the shit that entails, just ask Julia. I keep thinking " keep right on with your moaning and complaining, cause in about 29 days it's 'Adios fuckers'!" That's my new motto, by the way.
Seriously, my apartment will be empty in about 2 days, with Julias garage as my new storage unit, and her couch my home for 2 weeks. No need for another month's rent! It's a bit sad to me to see my little place all empty, my stuff either sold, or packed for the trip in lonely cardboard boxes. I'm down to sitting in camping chairs in the evening, eating off paper plates for the next few days. It's like being in college again! My cowboy man has finally come to grips with the fact that I'll be gone. That's a complicated story to tell, about letting go, about accepting the fact that after fighting for something for so long, that giving up sometimes is the best thing, then learning to accept that. I can't quiet talk about those things, about broken dreams, or disappointments in a relationship, as I haven't quiet got those worked out in my head.
I'm going to have to say I disagree with Julia, that this isn't after "happy ever after". This is happy ever after. This is giving fate a run for it's money. It's not about the stopping or starting points. It's about the shit along the way. Baby girl, you haven't had 6 careers, you've had one career that's changed 6 times to fit your diversity. This change in our lives is about people who looked at the road map, and said" I don't think that road is the one we'll take, this one looks much more fun". That's why people around us can't understand. They're looking at the same map, and they don't see that little road, they just see the highway, the way all tourist take. Only the locals know the good roads. This change means different things for the different travelers: Julias step daughter is taking her first steps on her own, this is her maiden voyage, for Julia and her hubby, this is the point they wanted to be at years ago when they were married in Key West, and the dream was born. For me? It's like standing on the high dive at the pool. I can see my boyfriend on the ground, not brave enough to go that high, but still trying to be a good sport by cheering my on. I'm standing on the edge, never having seen Key West, or any part of Florida, and knowing no matter how I land, I can swim, and that makes the jump all the more worth it.