To new beginnings

I sent my step-son to college yesterday and am still dealing with it. This is a boy that I have seen almost every day for the past seven years. He is my son in almost every sense of the word. About six years ago I promised to be the best mother I could to him after his biological Mom pretty much deserted him. It was one of those late nights, about 2 in the morning and I was up pacing the floor because I can be a bit of an insomniac. I heard him in his room, so I knew he was awake. I also knew that he was upset that his Mother fell through on yet another promise to him. This time it was she was suppose to pick him up and take him on a weekend vacation. Well, she made it to the vacation and called him and told him she completly forgot that she was suppose to pick him up and take him too. She ended up taking her flavor of the moment... He was of course crushed and she left us (my husband and I) to pick up the pieces. I decided on a whim that I would go get him out of his room and we would make chocolate chip cookies at 2 am. I finally talked him into the kitchen and got him to talk/cry it out. It was that night that he asked me to be his Mom, he knew he needed one and he knew that the other was not up to the job. I promised him that I would do the best I could. I think I have. He has come to me with every problem under the sun. I’ve talked to him about drinking, drugs, sex, you name it. I taught him to respect women, the ones that deserved it and don’t give the time of day to the women that don’t deserve respect. I taught him how to control his temper (he hasn’t always succeeded on that one, and I have a few holes in my walls to prove it) but he tries hard. I helped to teach him dedication and motivation, even though he hasn’t perfected those, who has? Without fail he has done one thing right for the past six years, he’s done the RIGHT thing. When the chips were down and he had so many options to take a cheap cop out he did the RIGHT thing. It hurt some, including himself but he did it, because he knew it was RIGHT. That is the kind of integrity you don’t expect in most people anymore. He truly has honor. I have to attribute that to his father. He looks up to his Dad like no child I have ever known. He still has a lot to learn, but I think he has a good foundation to start from.
This event of course has shown the changes that have occurred in my marriage. It showed me how far we have grown apart and how we are basically starting from the beginning, yet again. Where we once would have turned to the other for comfort, we didn’t. Eventually we did, but it wasn’t a first reaction like it would have been five years ago. We both deal with things in very opposite manners, but that shouldn’t be an excuse. It also showed me how we have grown past blaming each other when either one of us is in pain. This time we basically ignored each other and dealt with it in our own ways. I’m hoping the next challenge we will do a little better. Small steps....
All in all a tough weekend, but in the end still surviving.