You are right, I am at a point where I need to take a breather and when that comes I blog. I must say that right now I'm happier than I've ever been. The man is good, the family is awesome, the friends are moving to bigger and better place, I can feel it. Even the kids are behaving. Its kind of scary. I feel like something disasterous is going to happen to ruin one part of it. I guess eventually it will, I just hope this lasts. I get to wondering why things are so good right now? I know I don't deserve this. I know many many more people that deserve happiness and ease and they aren't getting it. Why am I? I should just shut the fuck up and enjoy it. Yeah, I'm working on it.

I'm sitting in MY store right now, enjoying the Christmas decorations and the books and the chocolates and fresh cinnamon bread I made today and it still doesn't seem real. I'm not the least bit prepared for the holiday season like I normally am, but I did start watching Christmas movies in October, that should count for something, right? I've just been so incredibly busy. I've worked my ass off for three months straight and now I don't quite know what to do with spare time.

Oh yeah, I just remembered. I want to go sledding with the jeeps!!! In the pasture with a car hood, or anything else we can find. I want to drink spiked hot cocoa. I want hot toddies and hot sex in the same hour. Ymmm....Sex. I want to sit with a glass of wine and stare at Christmas tree lights. I want to wrap presents for my dearest friends and watch with intent, faces of happiness when they finally open them. I want candle lit church services that nearly bring you to tears. I want to suprise my Mom by showing up for my families celebration Christmas Eve. I want to watch the small town parade in front of my store and kids running around. I don't know how many of these I will get to, but I will look forward to them all the same.

Here are some things that I AM doing this season and some of my other favorite things.

10. Teaching my husband how to ski this year at a resort.
9. Having lots of sex at said resort.
8. Finding the perfect present for Chesa.
7. Serving Hot Cocoa with peppermint sticks.
6. Seeing the gazebo next to my store lit up with Christmas lights.
5. NOT being with my In-laws Christmas Eve OR Christmas Day!!!!!!!!!
4. Getting to see actual snow this Christmas.
3. Getting and giving St. Nick presents and candy.
2. Watching PH (Chesa's Lova) open a cow blow up doll - yes, that kind of blow up doll.
1. My fave - dragging Chesa hard core Christmas shopping and going into Abercrombie & Fitch to check out all the cute little college boys that work there and buying our annual tacky t-shirts.