Here's the question today. What happened to the idealism we had in college? Shit. We were going to save the world, we could do anything, and we dared anyone to tell us otherwise. Now, I can barely remember what that was like. It's a childhood taste, like the orange cream soda we drank out of clear glass bottles that would drip condensation on out dirty 10 year old hands. I can still feel the fizzle on my tounge...but what about now? It's no where to be found.
I've been stipped of so much these days, pride determination, and most of all, perception. We're in modern America. Since when is the work place about Men vs. Women? Appearantly, it's always been that way, and I just assumed I was in a business where that crap didn't exist.. WRONG The sad part about it is, it reminds me of recess. The boys are doing something stupid while the girls are wringing their hands, warning them not to. Or, like me as a child, jumping right on there, gigin' frogs with 'em. Then the teacher comes, and you know what she says? "Why are you out here with the boys? Don't you know you could get hurt?" That's about what I feel like today. Just days ago I was sitting in a room with a bunch of men, one of which is my partner here at work, and when we got the subject of me, I was being consulted, excuse me, insulted about not being female enough at my job, about having too much of an opinion, and showing too much independence. What the fuck? If I were anymore female, I'd be wearing my underwear on the outside of my clothes. OH, there's a new argument, female vs prissy.......
I love what I do, don't get me wrong. I've just had to look at the depth of my character at work and make sure I'm happy with it. Know what? I am happy with it. So if this suddenly another battle I have to fight, then I'll fight like a girl, with grace and style, and even more vicious than any man that's suddenly found the liberty to give it to me in the peverbial ass. ( what a runon sentence)
That's the lesson that should be included in college. How victory doesn't come without a fight, how you WILL have to grin and bear it now and then, and that idealism acts as a great lube.